From Grapevine, Texas (Dallas/Fort Worth Area)

For the past few days (and still as I write this), Peggy and I have been in Dallas Texas at Fellowship Church's C3. (Creative Church Conference) We have learned so very much about leadership and have been inspired and encouraged by some of the most successful pastors in recent history: Ed Young, Bishop T. D. Jakes, Bill Hybels and Erwin McManus. Today and tomorrow morning we will be attending worship at Fellowship Church (4 campuses with 20,000 per weekend services), Gateway Church (started on Easter 2000 and now has 30 pastors with over 8000 active church members) and if time permits we'll visit a new church, 121 community and The Potter's House (Bishop TD Jakes).

Habits my mother taught me.

Every morning, clean up your room and make your bed before breakfast.
Put your towels and dirty clothes in the laundry every morning.
When you make a mess, clean it up.
If you see something out of place, even if you didn't move it, fix it.
When either Mom or Dad are working around the house, help them.
Dust every week (that was my job specifically growing up.).
Vacuum as needed.
Be hospitable with all guests.
Honor your grandparents and other elders.
Go to church, every Sunday.
Don't just sit there, do something constructive.
Volunteer for stuff.
Help other people.

The list could go on. I've thought about many other important things Mom taught me. She is a great Mom, cook, parent, professional, respected woman in the church and community. She goes well beyond others' expectations for her. She fits the example of a Proverbs 31 woman to a tee. Although if I had to pick one thing that most represents my Mom is that she is prepared.

If guests were to arrive unannounced, she'd make them feel as if they were expected all along. You'd never know the difference. There is always something she has ready to bake or warm up, a chair to sit and share, a clean bedroom warm and inviting. She's ready. She's prepared.

My parents house was just selected as one of the homes on a special open house tour in the community. They were honored and now Dad is worn out, Mom had to be prepared. So right after Christmas, the house began being torn up so it could be repainted, repapered, redecorated for the scores of guests who will visit them this summer. She will leave nothing undone (or at least she will make sure my Dad leaves nothing unfinished.)

What my Mom taught me with all of this is a lesson that I did not truly appreciate until becoming an adult, discipline. The practice of doing what needed to be done and in addition that which was done just in case until they become habits.

I've found it so easy in the mornings to simply move on with the day and leave some things undone around the house. Then when I come home and there is work to do, I regret not doing as I had been trained. Did you know that work piles up fast? And that the longer you leave it, the higher the pile grows?

God continues to teach me lessons about daily discipline. Sure it is important to make the bed every morning and dust every week, but even more important to pick up and read the Bible and talk with Christ every day. They need to become a habits, things that if you fail them, will leave you empty and wanting. These things need to become like breathing and missing a breath can be very uncomfortable. Discipline is about establishing the right habits and it takes a few weeks of doing something every day (or to stop doing those bad habits) to modify our behavior. Nothing is habit forming on its own (except maybe chocolate). Right behaviors take time, take risk, take effort, take disipline to become habits.

It took Mom 18 years to train me (And she still gives me refresher courses at times.) and a lifetime keep them. Today is a good day to start a new habit, or to pick up where you have failed. Christ is waiting to hear from you.

Peace ><>
PC

Dreaming of Drinks with Umbrellas...

I hope to retire someday, many, many years from now. I'm not necessarily looking forward to retirement either. It's not that I won't have anything to do, I can fill my time very quickly as I have lots of things I like to do, or would like to try. It's that I'm not sure what I'll have to retire on. I at the far end of the Baby Boomer Generation (the ones that just started turning 60 this year) and they will begin retiring soon. But by the time I get there (remember, many, many years from now) it is speculated that Social Security will be bankrupt, the economy will be very different (because of the large work force of this generation that is now retiring) and the retirement age will be somewhere around 90. (okay, so I'm a bit sarcastic this morning.) The point is, the future is uncertain. We don't know what to expect 25-30 years down the road. It makes me wonder if I can save enough between now and then to live on in retirement.

Before I was a pastor and while I was pursuing the call of God I worked at Prudential helping people prepare for retirement. Funding Living Trusts through life insurance and mutual fund investments was my specialty. It was fun and exciting to help people reach their goals so that they could have the life they had dreamed of in retirement. The most important thing I learned in that time is that planning is critical, and implementing the plan takes discipline. Sometimes that means going without today so you'll have enough tomorrow. That's true discipline.

John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, taught to "Make all you can; Save all you can; Give all you can." His simple teaching was meant to help people see just how important the fiscal part of our lives really are. Jesus taught the same way. Money is important to our lives, to our well being, to our future. And we have to plan for it so that it doesn't rule us. Following Wesley then we can feel good about working hard (if it is not our first priority, remember: God, Family, Me...) and earning well. If we are earning well that usually means that we are using our God given gifts and talents appropriately. It also means that we have to save as much as we can, which means that we should live frugally. We don't have to live on all we make, we should live in a way that provides well for us and gives us plenty to share. That's his idea of giving all we can. Living in a way that the church, our children, the needy in our communities and around the world can be benefitted by our gifts. Wesley knew that great blessing comes from a life like this. God blesses those who give generously.

In Genesis 41 Joseph moved from a jail cell to Pharoah's palace. He went from prisoner to second in command. His job was to earn and save and give as much as he could so that Egypt would remain strong through the coming years of famine. He was a wise and disciplined man who organized and oversaw a great system that eventually would rescue not only Egypt but also the tribe of Israel (his own family) and the future of his nation. Planning and discipline is cricitcal.

Planning is an exciting activity. Discipline is hard. Thinking about the future brings to mind tropical beaches and drinks with umbrellas while discipline means work. Thing is, we don't get one without the other. The Christian life is the same. It's fun to think of heaven and what it will be like (Although I don't know if there are tropical beaches on the Crystal Sea and drinks with umbrellas.), but it takes discipline of faith to reach it. Discipline to seek God regularly, to trust God completely, to honor God whole-heartedly.

I'm planning hard for the future I long for and giving all I've got to make sure I reach it. (O, and I'm also saving for retirement.) I challenge you to do the same!

Peace ><>
PC

Battle of the Bulge

I started exercising.

Several times.

But not lately.

I know it's good for me. I feel better once I get started and pass through that discomfort stage where my muscles ache. I sleep better when I exercise. I look better too. So why do I fail so miserably?

I'm lazy.

Okay, so lazy is a strong word. A better excuse is that I'm busy. I choose to do other things. By the time I get home in the evening it's late and not the best time to raise the heart rate. (And let's not even consider getting up earlier in order to get in the much needed exercise. That just sounds wrong!)

Notice anything? They're excuses. Many excuses. Good excuses, but still excuses. We are good at making them (at least I am.). We can always find a good reason not to do something we ought to do, but it doesn't get to a solution. Excuses are symptoms of a weak will and mis-ordered priorities. We know what we need to do, but don't have the resolve to do them, hence the annual lies we make to ourselves called resolutions. Maybe we don't need new resolutions, but a fresh resolve and new priority list.

Don't do today what you can put off until tomorrow ! Is this your credo? A Brand NU ME can't happen if it is. It's time to get started. Remember, no pain, no gain is true, so let's get it over with, move through the initial start-up pain and just begin. And I'm talking two-fold exercise, the body and the spirit. "Exercise daily in God - no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever." (1 Timothy 4:8, The Message)

Discipline is the key. Throw out the excuses, pick up the Bible and get on the treadmill. Your body and spirit will be glad you did.

Peace ><> (and a little sweat)
PC

Growing Points

Wifeswap, Mission: Organization, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and others are all popular TV shows that have revealed a big fear in me. All of these shows, and I know they do it willingly, reveal how people really live. It shows their mess, their failures, their weaknesses, their circumstances. When I have seen these shows I cringe and think, "I don't want anyone to see my home like this." While it is true that I am happy to have people in my home most of the time, there are times when I would be greatly ashamed. My household doesn't always reveal the image I want it to. (and I know the same is true for most of you.) Right now I'd rather you not see my garage or my laundry room. (or for that matter my closet or the space under the stairs or...) Do you know what I 'm talking about? Can you relate at all?

I'm not as organized as I want to be, nor am I as disciplined as I should be, and it causes me discomfort. I don't like revealing my weaknesses because it makes me look...weak! Well, I am, and if you are honest you'll find you have a weakness or two, too. Even some who have it all together have forgotten where they put it! We all have weaknesses, or maybe a better way to put it, growing points, those parts of our lives that may need attention but are too often overlooked or ignored. We know there are weaknesses, but instead of working on them, we make up for them in other ways, like when gaining a few pounds, we buy a new wardrobe. It doesn't solve the problem, but fixes the symptom. It's like taking an aspirin for a broken leg. The pain may go away for a while, but the leg is still broken.

The last half of Matthew 18 is commonly known as a story about forgiveness. One man forgiven a great debt is guilty of refusing to forgive a very small one. I see it equally about personal discipline. A little diligence could have gone a long way to save him much trouble. Personal discipline is critical, whether its our health, our finances, our organization. We simply cannot become the people God is trying so hard to make us into, if we are not willing to work at these growing points. Why is it common that most people who win large sums of money, like in the lottery, end up filing bankruptcy? The core problem with them, most likely the very reason they gambled in the first place, was not a lack of money, but a lack of discipline. Money is the aspirin, but leg is still broken.

So, this idea of a making our lives brand nu . is a challenge (and I promise that this week will be the last time to use the word "nu" for a while.). It reminds us of how we aren't yet. How we ought to be. How we were meant to be. It's a challenge because we don't like to see our selves in that light. But deep down we know that something has to change, even if it is our goals, our mind, our heart, our priorities, our allegience. A forest is a living organism in which the trees that are old, damaged, diseased have to die in order that new life can spring up and the forest flourish. The same is true in us, something has to die in order for the new to grow. Getting made over takes some pain, especially the pain of looking deeply at ourselves and claiming our faults.

It's a brand nu year. Discover your growing points and seek God's help. He's waiting to set things right for us, to clear the slate, but it is going to take more than our humility, it also takes our self-discipline.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a closet to clean...

Peace ><>
PC

Just Teasing...

Hi, I'm Chris and I'm a teaser. I come from a long line of teasers, my father, my grandfather, my uncles and cousins. It's darn near an epidemic in my family and I passed it on to my own kids. In some ways I'm proud that they have so much of me in them but I'm also ashamed. You see, I've been guilty of exasperating my children, teasing them until their spirits are bruised. I've done them wrong. I've failed to heed the scripture, "Fathers (and mothers, and everyone who deals with children), don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them." (Ephesians 6:4a, The Message)

Now I believe that the fun I've mentioned has some to do with teasing and that there can be some healthy teasing. Telling fib stories and making them believe something false in an "April Fools Day" attitude can be fun if it doesn't hurt anybody. But taken too far, we eventually are the little boys who cry wolf. Our kids won't know when to believe us. There may be a place for teasing, but it is a small place. We can have fun, tell stories and jokes, play tricks on one another but the teasing has to stop. We are dealing with fragile egos, developing characters and malleable spirits.

Ever had your eggs put on the bottom of a grocery bag? Not a good plan, unless you want to make a whole lot of scrambled eggs as soon as you get home from the store! Children need to be handled just like a carton of eggs, very carefully. Eggs are easily spoiled, easily cracked and easily broken. (And after handling it's always a good idea to wash your hands to keep from getting sick! Ha, ha, ha...just teasing!) They're fragile, children I mean. And we have to treat them accordingly.

Now you've heard it said that kids are resilient. They bounce back from adversity well. Truth is, they aren't that resilient. Not everything rolls off their backs, rather every thing that happens to a child is like another swipe of the scuplter's hand. It leaves a mark, a memory, a scar. Kids aren't as resilient as we think, they are just quiet learners that are affected by every word, action and circumstance. They need to be placed in the top of the bag and their spirits at the forefront of our minds.

Paul says instead to "take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master." (Ephesians 6:4b, The Message). We need to take seriously the task of raising children and this is for all of us, not just parents and grandparents. Remember, in the baptismal covenant we all take a vow to raise the children of the church. While we need to teach them we also need to treat them with love and respect and they will learn to love and respect in return. They are a treasure and deserve our best. Handle them with care.

Peace ><>
PC

You're Grounded!

That's what God did to Israel when in the wilderness they behaved badly. They didn't trust God's promise, see God's vision, believe God's directions. They were lost in the wilderness for 40 years, not because someone had the map upside down or that they wouldn't listen to the women, but because God grounded them. I bet you never thought of it that way before.

There are many types of discipline, some much more controversial than others and I'm not planning on getting in to that discussion here today (unless someone wants to push it), but I do want to make sure we understand that discipline is a part of our job as parents. "God disciplines you in the same ways a father disciplines his child." (Exodus 8:5, The Message). It is a given, an expectation, it's our job, our responsibility and we must take it seriously.

I've met many parents who have not taken this duty to their children seriously. In fact, it is common today for parents to step in and defend their child even when they've done wrong. It is incredible the things we teach our children and to teach them that to do wrong without any consequences is preparing for disaster!

I think that many parents do this (failing to discipline) because they want to be liked by their children. I understand that. I hate it when my kids give me that look of disdain, but I am satisfied to know that I've done the right thing and that one day (maybe soon) they will understand that. I've got to know that doing the right thing is the best thing. I'm the parent, not the best friend, or the favorite uncle. Discipline is on my shoulders. If I don't do it, no body else will. "This will hurt me more than it hurts you," "I do this because I love you." are valid arguments not trite phrases. Use them! Believe them! Be brave, be bold and love your children better than ever. Discipline them.

They will grow up to thank you and love you more than you ever thought possible.

Peace ><>
PC

Brand Nu Family

What are your family resolutions for this New Year? Are you making any changes? Setting new priorities like eating more meals together, having family time, getting along better? The New Year can hold such promise, but only if we work at making the most of it. Maybe it’s time to start fresh, clean the slate, change our priorities. And we don’t have to go it alone, God is with us on this journey and is ready to help.

What is it take to make changes to our family dynamics? I shared 4 things that are important to bring our families into the kind of family God intended.
1-Give Yourself to Christ
Parents, before we can make great changes in our families, we need to start by giving ourselves to Christ. If we do not nurture this relationship, we'll not have the strength or the tools to develop our families. With Christ, we are capable of so much more, to become better parents.
2-Give Attention to Your Character
1 Timothy 3 reveals what God expects of Godly parents. We must have integrity when we deal with our families, by teaching with both our words and our actions and they must match.
3-Give Time to Your Family
Find out what your family likes to do, go on vacation, sit at the dinner table, play a game, throw a ball, whatever it takes to give your time. We cannot just depend on "quality" time, it doesn't come except within a quantity of time. Spend time with them, on their turf and show important they are.
4-Give Your Love Away
Don't be afraid to say "I love you." You may believe that your kids and your spouse know this already, but never take that for granted. Tell them, every day, with your words and your actions.

To follow these simple things our family takes on a whole new perspective. Our families take on the characteristics that God desires. Sit around the dining room table this week, share your lives together and bring your family to Christ.

Peace ><>
PC