Two important things to remember in restoring our families. First, is something I shared several weeks ago and is key to this whole series. The Gospel Builds Relationships. Jesus said to "Love God and Love People," (my paraphrase of the first two commandments) and that is all about our relationships with both God and one another, including our families. Jesus came to restore us and our relationships.
Which brings me to the second important thing, God is God of Restoration and New Beginnings. Since God is in the business of building relationships, then restoring them is important too, just as restoring our lives is important. God can take anything that is broken and repair it...even our families!
So here are a few steps to help you create a healthier and happier family.
- Begin with the End in mind. It may seem trite, but it really is simple and true. You can't build anything with out some plans, a house without blueprints. You can't build a family without at least a model in mind. There are biblical models and contemporary models, no one perfect family. Not even the Brady's had it all right! So consider your goals before you get started.
- Commit to the hard work (Cannot stress this enough!!!) Now with the goal in mind there is required a real commitment to complete it. You will get discouraged. You will be challenged. Your family may not agree with the direction you are going. Don't give up! Push through. But do so not only with perseverance, but also with grace and love.
- regardless the circumstances or consequences, don't give up!
- Discipline lovingly and firmly. Don't quit just because it gets challenging. You have a goal in mind, finish it. You will ALL be better off for it!
- Recognize that you are dealing with people not things, family not employees. The plans to restore a family to a new vision or at least a renewed one is still dealing with family with differing personalities, differing ways of coping and dealing with change, even visions of their own about the way things "ought" to be. (see the next one also.) Change can be difficult. People can be difficult. And we can break them even more in this process if we are not careful. Grace and love are keys to this whole process. And time.
- Plan for Compromise (or expect to move to plan B, C, D...X, Y and even Z!) While your vision for a renewed, restored family may not change, the process or plan to get there will most definitely change often. Don't get discouraged when Plan A fails or Plan B just doesn't fit. Work one while creating a new one and seek input from the family on what might work best. I've found it really helpful to have my kids in on conversations about their own discipline, behavior modification, goal setting. It makes the process to the end goals smoother and quicker!
- Love God. (really #1, but we talked about this on Sunday. See link here.) Another thing that cannot be stressed enough. I've discovered that everything I touch can turn sour if I'm doing it without the love of God in my own life. Notice I said, "can." We can have lots of success on our own, but eventually we will find a point at which we cannot truly make our family successful with out God. True love comes only from God. If we have that in our own lives, we can give it away purely and wholly.
- Really Love your family in both Word and Action. I am sure you love your family, but do they know it? Even your actions may say you love them, the way you care, provide, etc. Yet, there is nothing more important than saying those simple words, "I love you!" with a heart that truly means it. My challenge is for you to tell your family that you love them...every day...with words.
I want a restored family, too. Fortunately, I've been working at fixing mine for more than 25 years. I'm still not finished. But I'm not discouraged either. I have a goal in mind and I'm not giving up until it's complete.
Hang in there. You can do it too!
Peace ><>
Pastor Chris
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