I was so excited when I first became a Dad. Although it also scared me to death. It was real, but seemed so surreal. I was only 19, still newly married and a college student and now a Dad. Wow! It was overwhelming. There were times I wondered if I could take care of myself let alone a wife and now a beautiful baby girl. But now she was my responsibility and it was time to step up as an adult.
As the years went by and the family grew, so did the pressures and responsibilities. As I understood it, my job was to care for my family by providing the best I could, as much as I could. So I worked, long hours, six or seven days a week. It wasn't uncommon to leave before anyone else got up and get home after everyone had gone to bed. I provided well enough, but something was missing. It just didn't feel right. There was some disconnect between me and my wife and my children. I finally discovered it, the disconnect, was my time and space, my morality and ethics which had shifted to a very secular business mentality and it carried over to my home life. I was crude and tough. I wasn't being a Dad, rather only their Father. Something had to give.
For a long time in my adult life I failed at many things. One of them was being a Christian. O, I believed. I never stopped believing, but I sure didn't live the life. I was one of those "talk the talkers," but I didn't walk it or show it or claim it. I had become a secular Christian, and it didn't bother me at all until I recognized just how bad I was at being a Dad and husband. So I returned to church with my family, tried my hand at serving along with my wife in youth ministry and discovered something that I was missing, a real relationship with Christ. It was the missing link. Something clicked in my head and in my heart and my life at home took on a whole new dimension.
Hall of Famer and Chicago Bear great, Gale Sayers, wrote a book that I read when I was only 10, but the image and story of this man among men remained with me, had made an impression on me that although had faded, had not gone away completely. He had discovered his place in this life and it was the title of the book, I am Third. "The Lord is first, my friends are second and I am third." That was his credo and it made sense for me. I remembered it from Miss George's third grade classroom where she encouraged me to read challenging books. And this one, so many years later, altered my priorities and my heart. Christ wanted me to reshuffle my priorities and set him first, place my family second (which didn't make sense to me at the time) and put myself third. And it has made all the difference in the world.
"So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, disipline...It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it." (Colossians 3:12, 14, The Message) I'm still not the greatest Dad, but I set Christ before anything else and it made me a better one. I try to wear this wardrobe of love every day and be Christ for my family. It doesn't mean that I am not strict, or undisciplined, but I have become "quick to forgive and even tempered..,wearing love" as much as I can, to be a better Dad, just like my own Dad who taught me well and my Abba, Daddy, God whose Word, Jesus Christ, runs the house.
Peace ><>
PC
2 comments:
As our oldest son approaches the end of high school and approaches a new beginning for himself...the life of a college student, I have been reflecting much on the type of parents my husband and I have been. Have we raised our children well, will they look back on their growing up years and feel their parents were good parents who did the best they could and raised them up to be respectable adults, stong in their faith and confident of they are? Or, will they look back on their years with complaints that we should have done this or that...been there for this or that...etc. I couldn't be more prouder of my sons...and who they are becoming and while I like to think somewhere we must be doing something right I ultimatley know that it is their Father in Heaven that has played the significant role in their life...shaping who they are now and who they are becoming and my prayers are being answered. They are wonderful boys and we are blessed by them. While as a parent we are to be teaching our children I find that they are teaching me everyday. I might not always get the lesson but I pray that God opens my eyes and ears to learn and grow from them. They have so much to give.
I have been blessed by a mother that I hold so very dear. I love her with all my heart. I father passed away when I was 9 years old and my mother and I faced the world together through the years and she has always been a constant source of strength and love and guidance for me. I pray that my children will feel that way about me when they are grown and look back at their "growing up" years.
My husband and I have not always been the perfect parents either...we've made mistakes but I am growing and learning still how to be a better parent everyday. I hope that somewhere along the way I learn from my mistakes and go on. I know my children know how much they are loved. I pray they know how blessed I feel by them...hmmm...maybe I should tell them today. Ryan and Nathan...I love you and God has blessed us with you both!
Hmmm...You bring up a good point. IN fact, read today's post!
PC
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