Ever have days when it doesn't seem like you'll make it through? When there are people fighting against you from every side? It's like the whole world has decided that you were going to be the target for a day, a year, a lifetime. And just maybe that time is right now.
Yes, all of us have felt that way at some time, some of us more than others. It's been nearly 10 years now since that day when I was just sure that the world was coming down on me. It was my last semester of seminary and my wife had not been well all year, her mom had been going through treatments for cancer, I was going before the Board of Ordained Ministry for my final interview for ordination, and my good friend David was very sick from pancreatic cancer. That's when the wheels came off.
While completing my Senior project, David passed away, on the day of his funeral I had my ordination interview. A few weeks later my wife had an outpatient procedure that ended in her on a respirator in ICU for 3 days wondering if she was going to recover. A week after she left the hospital (a miracle in itself), her mother passed away. The next week was my Senior Project oral defense and finals. (and I don't want to fail to mention that it was now Advent and I was pastoring a small, but growing church.)
When I look back on that time when I was at the end of my rope I still have some anxiety, my heart races and the blood pressure goes up. Yet it was a time of amazing growth for me. I wondered how I'd survive. And God showed me not only how to survive, but how to live and grow in adversity. I learned in that time what I hadn't had to learn before that, but what so many of the writers of the Psalms understood so well,
For you’ve been a safe place for me,
a good place to hide.
Strong God, I’m watching you do it,
I can always count on you—
God, my dependable love. (Psalm 59:16-17, The Message)
Paul told the Ephesian Church, "God is strong, and he wants you to be strong." (Ephesians 6:10, The Message) But the strength that God wants us to have is not something we come up with on our own, it is a strength that God gifts us with. God is strong, but god gives us that strength. We have to put in our best efforts and God makes up the rest. If you've ever lifted weights in a gym (or even a heavy object), tried to make one more rep but couldn't and a spotter came in and helped you complete the lift, you've got the idea. It's help just beyond what we can do. It's right at our limit, but always there.
God is...always there with strength to help.
I grew through that time 10 years ago. Not to become so strong I didn't need God, but more often to reach my limits and depend on God for the rest; to work close to the edge where God is ready to step in. God wants me to be strong, with His strength, and wants you to be strong, too.
God is ... strong.
Depend on it.
Peace ><>
PC
2 comments:
I enjoyed this. I have also found that strength in weakness. I have also learned that God teaches us patience when we come to the end of our ropes and think we can't take any more. The last several months have been months like you describe. My husband was dx with bipolar and was hospitalized for six days the week before Christmas. His mother has been fighting cancer of the heart. I deal with chronic pain issues and have been sick the past couple week. I am also comming to the conclusion that my sinus infection is causing a tooth absecess...we have a teen who is pushing the limits due to the influence of a freind and a son who is having learning difficulties with school...it's a lot on my plate all at once but God is faithful...he give me patience and strength when I need it. Marsha Iddings http://middings.blogspot.com
Yes, I have had many times that I thought I would not make it through the day due to several family problems. I should know by now that the only way that a person can get through trials is to go to God in prayer. That is just whatI have done over the years because God is my strength. He is the only way.
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