"If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we're obviously lying through our teeth - we're not living what we claim. But if we walk in the light, God himself being th elight, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God's Son, purges all our sin." (1 John 1:6-7, The Message)
Ever stumble in the dark? Trip over something you couldn't see? Having to feel your way around in the middle of the night hoping not to whack your shins on the coffee table or step on the dog or fall down the stairs? I often wonder what it would be like to be blind. To have to live in the dark all the time. Sometimes at night, even with a little light from various sources, I close my eyes going from one room to another (usually a trip to the bathroom). It's an interesting exercise and no matter how many times I've done it, it's still foreign.
We weren't made to live in darkness.
Yet sometimes that's where I feel I am, or at least have been for a while. I've been living through what many, who have experienced this long before me, have called the dark night of the soul. It's a time when God seems distant and my faith seems tested. Rick Warren has talked about in his book. I'm living through it right now. It's an interesting place to be, and not a place I ever expected to be. I've enjoyed a great life with God and now God is taking me through something to enhance it even more.
But this darkness that I describe isn't my sin. (O, I still have sin. I check it every day, confess it, purge my soul constantly. I'm not living in denial.) It isn't a darkness of my own making either or my own journey away from the will of God. It has taken me weeks (maybe months) to begin to understand it. In fact this place I am in is directly in the center of God's will. The darkness I am experiencing is what's going on around me. This darkness is a chance for me to see the sin of others and grow deeper in my faith, even when I cannot "feel" it.
I do see God at work in me, even in his absence. I also see the work of God in our church, maybe more than I ever have in any church. I see the darkness and the tension the light of Christ causes. God is working at drawing the church closer together even as some are pulling away. God is working at purging the darkness from our midst and bringing light all around us. In that we will find the fellowship between us ever more fulfilling, and the work of the church bringing us more joy (as it does more and more people!)
I believe (and have for some time) we are on the brink of something big that God is doing. And I have been allowed the privilege of God's test, to make it through the dark, trusting not in my sight, but in his hand to guide me, not always to let me see, but to let me know which way to go.
Living in the dark isn't fun, especially if that darkness is unconfessed, unrepentant sin. It's a darkness that is caused by an acute selfishness (yes, this is sin, too.). We were not made to live there, in the dark. It causes more than separation from God, it also causes separation from the place God has for us, the Church.
So if you are living in the dark, step into the light and bask in its warm glow.
It's God and God's place for you.
Peace ><>
pc
3 comments:
As one who has gone through "the dark night of the soul" herself, I am thankful to say that it does not last forever and when the dawn breaks, you learn to appreciate the warmth of the "son" even more!
When we are going through the darkness, we all need to remember there are those who will contine to guide, support,pray for and love us through it all!
Have I stumbled in the darkness? Oh yes I have...and when I am in the darkness I feel cold, alone and afraid. I feel that way because I try to find my way out on my own instead of reaching out to God and asking Him to take my hand and get me through. There have been times and maybe I feel that this is one of those times for me in my life...that I am walking in a bit of darkness, still stumbling around, afraid to take another step as I might fall "down the stairs" but I am reaching my hand out...and I feel God grabbing it. I am taking another step..and it is ok because He is guiding my step and He is leading me to the light. I may stumble and trip but I know its because I pulled my hand away again. As long as He has his grip in mine he will get me through anything. I know that. Prayer and more prayer and the support of my inner circle..it helps get me out of the dark and into the light...where it feels so very warm!
Darkness-no I don't like the darkness, I haven't liked it since I was a child, because you do feel very much along. Sin-yes everyday, but I know that God is a loving God and will be there to help me if I just listen to him and ask for his help.
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