I don't know about your faith (sure I know some of your stories, but not the whole stories). But what I do know is that I have never lost faith in God. I've believed in God my whole life. There has never been a time that I can recall where I turned away and dis-believed in God. I may have doubted some details, questioned things, wondered about miracles, the nature of Jesus, the goodness of God, the existence of other gods, the truth in other faiths, but never doubted that God oversaw it all.
I've believed in Jesus, trusted in his forgiveness, depended on his acts to rescue me (my Savior), listened to his teaching, counted on his promises, asked for his provisions, and graciously received his gifts. But though I trust God, believe Christ, never wavered even for a moment, I'm still guilty of putting God in the background.
Life is so complicated. Day to day things infiltrate my mind, my tasks, my focus. It's easy to bypass prayer, set aside study, postpone a scripture reading. Family pressures, jobs, demands of friends, organizations, etc. all play a role in shifting our priorites. (which happen almost daily, if not more often!) But it is these very things, the simple things, the daily things, the important things, that turn away our attention so quickly, so easily.
The people of God were disciplined for many reasons, years and generations of rebellion. But it didn't start out so intentionally; actually it was very subtle and innocent. It was a desire for hunger, shelter, protection, self-preservation, and many other daily pressures that led to their guilt. And we can point to the one thing that started it all, is the basis of all their sin...and ours...
...putting God aside.
Yes, we are all guilty whenever we put God aside for anything else. And it can happen easily, daily, and become habit. What God desires is our simple and daily recognition that we have a tendency to turn away and the solution is for us to simply focus on Him, put God first, make Christ not only our Savior, but make Him our Master and Lord.
Because being lost to God's grace is not about losing faith, it's about taking it for granted.
Peace ><>
pc
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