Dreaming of Another State

Where are you? What state are you in? No, I'm not talking about the state of your address, but your relational state: married, single, seeking, divorced, widowed, etc.? Do you like living there? Is it where you had planned, had hoped, had dreamed? Or are you in a place of shattered dreams, broken promises, or disappointment? Okay, so the place where you reside relationally for some of you is fulfilling all your dreams and for many it isn't where you ever thought you'd be. So what do we do about it?

My wife should have left me years ago. I was a jerk. She trusted in God, prayed, went to church, taught our children right living and I worked most of the time. I can't say that I was ever a non-Christian, because I believed in Christ, but I sure didn't live like a Christian or think like a Christian or even act like a Christian. We were "unequally yoked." Few would have blamed her for leaving me. But it would have been wrong.

So what if we had grown apart in our faith and in our relationship. So what if we were at very different stages of our faith development. We had made a covenant. We were married. Although unequal we were still yoked. And that's where God wanted to use both of us. God didn't give up on us, my wife didn't give up on us and because of that, neither did I.

What does this mean for us? Remember what it is that defines us? It's not someone else, but God. We may need relationships, especially marriage to complete us as people, but we are not defined even by our spouses. We are defined by God alone, that is where we are to begin. So don't think that marriage or any relationship is going to solve all problems, and it is especially wrong to think that a person other than your spouse will fix it either! Take a good look at where you are, God is working right there.

Anything can be redeemed if placed in the hands of God. Strained relationships, broken promises, marriages, lonelieness. What God doesn't want us to do is keep dreaming of what else may be available or possible. Paul's word to us in 1 Corinthians 7, be satisfied where you are, especially if you are married. God is going to use you there. That doesn't mean that marriage is wrong, believe me marriage can be beautiful and is right for most of us. But singleness is also beautiful and right for many. My marriage was redeemed because of my wife's faith, prayers and God's mercy. We both changed and God has used us in some amazing ways. I would have never dreamed of this. And if you are single, keep trusting God. He'll show you what to do.

So...pursue God first, then pursue a spouse if that is your lot. And if you are already married, seek God's redemption for the dream it once was and pursue your spouse like never before. God is in it and will bless you.

Peace ><>
PC