"I didn't know," is the phrase I hear so often. It's the excuse that my children have used when they failed to do something: a chore, some homework, a phone call, or some other thing that you are sure has been clearly communicated.
But it hasn't.
I know that kids of many ages have short memories. In fact I believe that their selective hearing and short-term memories rival that of husbands (sorry guys, it is a common stereotype and fits all too often!). But when time after time I hear the "I didn't know" phrase it makes me think that not all of the fault lies with my kids. Maybe I'm not being clear enough. O, I know I've said it to them, but was I clear; I've transmitted, but are they on the same frequency? Communication is key for all people in all circumstances, whether at work, at church, in traffic, at home. Sure, there is a great responsibility on our kids and spouses part to tune in to our broadcast, but even more clear that we are aware of how and what we are communicating.
One part of this communication is walking the walk and talking the talk. (You've heard that said before, but it is true.) If I say one thing but live another I am sending mixed signals to my family. "Do as I say and not as I do" is not a valid teaching. Jesus even said it of the Pharisees and Sadducees. They were guilty of this and what we teach our children when we do this is how to live the same way. They learn what's right from wrong, and how to get away with living the wrong. (yet feel that they have done right by their children.) It is a vicious circle, one that we have to break. Our communication has to be consistent and clear, and one sure way of doing that is what John states in his short letter, "I have a lot more things to tell you, but I'd rather not use paper and ink. I hope to be there soon in person and have a heart-to-heart talk. That will be far more satisfying to both you and me." (2 John 12, The Message)
How often do you have heart-to-heart talks with your family? I mean those old-fashioned table discussions at dinner? Those "turn off the TV, sit at the dining room table with a game, laughing out loud," conversations that help us to really hear one another. Think of the power of that conversation, when the walls between us are broken down and we can all just be ourselves. What does that communicate? The very thing John was trying to say, communicate with a life of love, by what you do and what you say.
Does your family know how you feel about them, by how you've acted, by what you've said? Have you told them today that you appreciate them? That you love them? That you are proud of what they have become, who they are, what they have achieved? Don't assume that you've communicated this simple thing. It may not have been fully transmitted. If you ask them if they know you love them they might respond, "I don't know." So tell them.
Today!
Everyday!
Every chance you get.
It's better that they hear it too much (if that's possible) than not enough. So just tell them.
Love you!
Peace ><>
PC
1 comment:
It doesn't matter if you are a parent or grandparent it is important to let everyone know that you love them. Love is the most important word in the english language. As a grandparent we get so caught up in all the conversations going around and all of a sudden everyone is leaving that you don't get to tell each individual that you love them, that is why it is so important to have a time to get together one on one or just in a small group. I did that today with some of the grandaughters and their mothers as the grandaughters have some problems and I just wanted to let them know that no matter what we still loved them very much. As a grandparent you are the extended family that still is there for them.
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